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You may be familiar with the 
concept of fight or flight.

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It's the deep, cutting physiological response 
to supposed danger or perceived threats.  

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An immediate and dire choice to confront the 
danger before you or to flee it completely. 

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Our ancient ancestors ingrained this subconscious 
physiological reaction into our human nature  

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through thousands of years of evading predators as 
they lived in an unexplored and unchartered Earth.  

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For them, failing to respond quickly enough 
was the difference between life and death.

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For us, things are a lot more mundane. In our 
safe and sanitized contemporary culture, what  

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we perceive to be threats are much less physical 
than they are psychological. In a life where your  

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physical needs are more or less accounted for, it 
leaves the greatest threat to your existence to  

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be your own thoughts and how you perceive yourself -- 
a completely different kind of self-preservation.

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Which brings us to Porter.

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In his relatively brief musical career, Porter 
Robinson has released two bodies of work that  

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explore the concept of self-preservation through 
this fight or flight archetype. It was a long  

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seven year gap between worlds and nurture but 
that time between albums proved to be crucial  

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to the bigger picture that Porter would end up 
painting in his music. Nurture is the antithesis  

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of Worlds and understanding the experiences 
that led Porter to each of these respective  

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projects helps us understand Porter more fully 
as an individual, but perhaps more importantly,  

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it enables us to more fully understand ourselves 
and how we react to our perceived threats.  

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[Song: Worlds Live Intro]

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[Song: Worlds Live Intro]

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[Song: Worlds Live Intro]

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[Song: Worlds Live Intro]

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[Song: Worlds Live Intro]

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[Song: Worlds Live Intro]

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[Song: Worlds Live Intro]

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Porter Robinson -- an electronic music icon who for 
about 12 years now has been a staple within the  

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electronic music sphere. Despite being so worshiped 
within specifically the EDM community that he rose  

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to fame, in his musical catalog is fairly diverse; 
each project sounding totally different than the  

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last. In fact, it'd be a tad unfair to label him an 
EDM artist but it's within that genre specifically  

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that he built his name and reputation. And despite 
having such a heavy influence within the space he  

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exists today, he wasn't always particularly musical 
it wasn't really even until his early adolescence  

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that he began showing any interest in music 
at all and it's because of one very important  

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catalyst that Porter Robinson would grow up to 
be the world famous musician that he is today.

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[DDR MAX Intro]

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DDR Max -- Let's MAX!

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At the impressionable age of just 12 years old, 
Porter's brother brought home a copy of Dance  

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Dance Revolution for the PlayStation 2 and it 
seems that that game single-handedly unlocked  

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some latent desire within Porter to learn and 
create music himself. [Porter:] Dance Dance Revolution  

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actually unironically super changed my life 
and I just like, something about it like I  

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would just be up there in that room for hours 
and hours and hours playing. It was my first  

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time hearing Japanese music it was my first time 
like hearing electronic music so I downloaded like  

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some preliminary music production software 
and I was like, "Wait you can, like, change it."

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This realization was the true Inception to 
Porter Robinson the musician. Enter: Ekowraith.

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[Porter]: I remember being like 15 years old and telling my 
dad I had gotten a record deal in Germany and I  

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was going to get paid 500 euros to put out a vinyl 
of this track that I made called Booming Track and  

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my dad just being like... hmm... like okay? Like 
that's really weird that this is happening for  

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you in Germany but like then the check came 
through and he was like I guess this is real.

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Ekowraith is one of the several names that 
Porter went by in his early musical career and  

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though it wasn't the first artist name that he 
made for himself it was certainly the one that  

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helped him gain the greatest amount of traction 
at the start of his career. [Porter]: You know I feel like  

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a lot of the people who are getting into 
electronic music now they see these 

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DJs on the main stage and they're like, "Oh I 
want to be that" and for me it was never ever that.

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It was never about performing live, it was 
never about DJing. I was just trying to make  

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music that sounded like the stuff that I liked.

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And thus the beginnings of Porter's career as a Dj.

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Not really out of passion for the art itself, 
but really more out of chance. Simply accepting  

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fortunate opportunities that were given to him. 
{Porter}:My origins, my roots are not as a DJ. I didn't go out  

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watching DJs, I didn't go to clubs, I was seriously 
15 years old in Chapel Hill North Carolina just  

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at home writing electronic music for many 
many years. I started getting requests to  

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go DJ. This guy's like I'll pay you 500 to 
come to Portland and DJ my party

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and I'm like, well let me learn how to 
DJ and I will do that for you. I almost feel like  

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I chanced into it. I hadn't, I didn't follow this 
aspiration to be this big DJ.

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 I just kept taking the opportunities that were being given to me.

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Around 2010, Porter decided he would drop the

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idea of an artist alias altogether and begin 
releasing music under his own name. And with  

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this change in identity he released say my 
name his first commercially successful track.

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[Song: Porter Robinson - Say My Name]

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[Porter]: I made my song Say My Name and it really resonated 
with people and that that's how things got rolling.  

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[Narrator]: Electronic dance music began getting huge 
in the U.S thanks to genres like dubstep that started  

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out as a kind of Niche underground music 
movement in the UK but had began migrating  

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over to the US thanks to the appeal and 
accessibility of many popular UK artists.  

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However there was one artist in particular who 
was based in LA who was harnessing all of this  

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forward momentum and taking it to a completely 
new level. [Music] Porter Robinson caught the  

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[Song: Skrillex - My Name Is Skrillex

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Porter caught the attention of Skrillex.
Skrillex was worshiped in the U.S.   

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He was the torchbearer of edm's mainstream popularity, and to this day he is almost universally agreed to be a legend in the genre.

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[Song: Skrillex - First of the Year]

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Skrillex caught wind of Porter 
after Say My Name began blowing up on  

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iTunes and Beatport, and in 2011, Porter signed a 
one EP record deal with Skrillex's newly formed  

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label and artist collective OWSLA. The EP was titled 
Spitfire and it was Porter's first major release.

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[Skrillex]: We starting a record 
label as well called OWSLA. 

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Porter is my boy and anything I can do to help him, he's a 
good person and you know, he's stoked.

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[Song: Porter Robinson - Spitfire]

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A mere 10 minutes after Spitfire went live, 
Beatport crashed from the sheer amount of  

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sight traffic that Spitfire was pulling. 
At this point, Porter's momentum seemed  

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unstoppable. He would spend much of 2011 touring 
with Skrillex and would continue to make valuable  

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connections in the industry that would 
further propel his international reach.

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By 2012, Porter Robinson was a household name 
in the electronic dance music scene. In just  

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two years time he went from some obscure bedroom 
producer posting amateur tracks to online dance  

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music forums, to being a world famous DJ headlining 
festivals with Skrillex and co-writing Clarity with Zedd

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[Zach Sang]: People may not know that Clarity, the song 
that is it fair to say, like, changed Zedd's life was  

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really a song that you were on to? [Porter]: Yeah, Clarity 
was co-produced by me it was supposed to be a  

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collaboration between me and Zedd. 
[2012 Porter Interview]: We're working on a long overdue collaboration 

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that's you know, one part soulful, one part funky, 
one part beautiful. 

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Spitfire was an immensely important project. 
Not only did it put Porter on the radar but it really established his sound.  

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A sound that kind of became its own genre with a name 
that Porter even coined himself. 

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[Interviewer]: You coined the term "Complextro"
[Porter}: I did. When I came up with the word complextro 

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I was creating my MySpace when I had zero fans.  

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and I wanted to have like a nice funny cute little 
portmanteau to describe my sound. 

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Complex. Electro. Complextro. I never intended for it to 
describe a genre or anything like that but people  

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started using it and they started describing 
glitchy bass music, particularly glitchy electro with it.  

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After only one EP and a handful of singles, 
Porter didn't seem entirely satisfied with this  

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stylistic trajectory that he was on. In the second 
half of 2012, Porter released his single Language.

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Language introduced a more melodic and atmospheric 
approach to his songwriting. It was much more  

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ethereal yet it still maintained his signature 
electro house style. It was immediately met with  

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high praise and many people, including Porter himself, considered 
it to be the best thing he'd written up to that point. 

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[Interviewer]: Now you told us back in 
in Miami at Ultra that you wanted to move toward  

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making music that emotionally affected audiences 
more, right? Now what have you done to manifest  

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that since then? [Porter:] Well I mean Language was the big 
one. That was sort of testing the waters and the  

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response has been magnificent. I released a song 
called language which I felt was risky at the time  

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because I had only released really banger-y bassline electro stuff and this song comes  

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out and is a little bit more sensitive and more 
emotional and it became my biggest song.  

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[Song: Porter Robinson - Language]

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In 2013, Porter released another single in 
collaboration with Mat Zo titled Easy.

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It was extremely similar to language 
in its style and sonic blueprint.

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[Song: Porter Robinson & Mat Zo - Easy] 

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At this point it kind of started to feel like 
he was trying to tell us something and these  

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two singles were big hints as to the musical 
direction that Porter was aiming to head.  

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[Porter]: The first song that to me that was really deeply 
personal and made me feel something real I  

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think was language and that came out and 
it did really well and that was a moment  

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to me that was vindicating when I was like, 
"I can make music that I like even if it's  

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risky" because at the time you know language did 
feel risky to me because I had only been making  

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like electro bass-y stuff to that point. Maybe I 
should just write an album that is 100% exactly  

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to my taste, you know, with no compromises. Even 
things I didn't even think I was compromising.

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So what they knew me for was this raucous 
awesome like party thing and that's not  

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really where my heart was anymore and 
so I was in this weird place where  

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you know by playing this music that I had kind 
of fallen out of love with, I felt like I was  

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being dishonest with myself. What if I just stop 
making DJ music altogether? And that was the most  

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liberating thing by far. I was like holy shit, 
I'm gonna go back and listen to every album that  

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ever inspired me and figure out what it is that 
I loved about that stuff and try to like channel  

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this all into something that's really like really 
me, you know, the most personal thing that I can do.

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On February 10, 2014 Porter uploaded a mysterious 
10 hour long video to his YouTube channel.

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[Worlds. Worlds. Worlds....]

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This was the announcement of his debut album Worlds.

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A project that would end up 
defying everything that he was known for.

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It was a blatant and outright abandonment of 
his entire musical identity up to that point. 

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Worlds was Porter's escape from a life and a 
direction that he didn't want.  

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Flight.

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[Porter]: There is definitely a big focus on an appreciation 
for this like sacred thing to me which is the Escape and the Fantasy. 

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This entire album was so so much about escapism and fiction.

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The whole idea of the album, it's meant 
to feel like this very kind of beautiful sweet  

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but kind of tragic Escape.  

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[Narrator]: Why do we seek escapism? Why are we so enamored by our own imagination and nostalgia?

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With the advent of the internet and the 
exponential rate at which technology is advancing  

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society has been steadily pulling more and more 
in this direction of leaving reality entirely and  

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living instead in these synthetic and virtual 
spaces.

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[Porter}:  I kept finding that I was using sounds that evoked like in this era of video games like late 90s early 2000s N64 stuff.

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And then I, you know, in the art direction I kept using 
these low-poly 3Ds and that looks that looks so  

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cool to me and that really touches me because 
it is that's what I grew up with.

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I remember when I first started playing around with the idea 
of using these sort of like N64 sound font style  

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instrumentations of like Ocarina of Time sound 
and combining those things with like Vocaloid,  

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I felt like I had this palette of 
sort of Novel references to fiction and  

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I felt like the the angle that I 
had on it was taking some of that that like  

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indie music sound and incorporating this sort of 
EDM and video game soundtrack world view into it.

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Just a couple weeks later, he released the 
album's jarring first single Sea of Voices.

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Sea of Voices was completely devoid of any 
of the styles or sounds that we were used  

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to of a typical Porter Robinson song. 
Soft ambient pads, a gentle vocal choir,

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wind chimes -- it was really hard to believe 
that this was Porter at all.  

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It was at this moment that we as fans began to realize that 
the Porter Robinson that we all knew was gone.

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On August 12, 2014 Worlds was released. And 
just like, that Porter grabbed us all by the lapels  

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and threw us head first into this new world that 
he had been carefully and quietly been crafting.

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[Song: Porter Robinson - Sea of Voices]

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The album begins with divinity.
[Porter]: That was the the first song on the album and

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 I think it's the first song that I wrote that was really 

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in the world's style I felt like I kind of 
stumbled upon the sound of worlds.

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[Song: Porter Robinson - Divinity]

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The lyrical content for much of Worlds was 
always certainly secondary to the atmosphere and  

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instrumentals. However there is inherent beauty 
in these lines and the concept of never truly  

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feeling alive is intriguing to consider when 
you think about how worlds is primarily about  

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escaping life itself. After a nearly two-minute 
buildup Divinity drops into a magnificent wall  

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of sound and we are properly welcomed into 
Worlds. It's such a perfect introduction as  

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it capitalizes on so many of the sonic and 
thematic motifs that the album is built upon

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[Song: Porter Robinson - Divinity]

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The album's second song Sad Machine stands out 
a bit. Not only is it Worlds' most popular song,

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but it's the only song on the album that has 
a clear-cut linear narrative. 
[Is anyone there? Oh. Hi.]  

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Sad Machine is essentially a love story.
It follows the story of an artificially  

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intelligent robot girl who has been living in 
complete loneliness for more than 100 years, 

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only to be found by a human who stumbled upon 
where she had been residing for so long. 

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'Who survived?' implies that at some point there must 
have been some sort of inciting incident that  

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led to the robot girl's loneliness. Perhaps some 
sort of apocalyptic global event that left her  

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to be one of few to survive. A blinding light 
could be interpreted as either the physical  

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light of this unknown disaster or the metaphorical
light of the human who found her and took away  

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her loneliness that she'd been feeling. The girl 
who slept 100 years has something after all and  

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that something is companionship. It's love 
for this human. The tragic twist to all of  

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this is how painfully temporary her joy will 
be. The unfortunate disconnect between a robot  

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girl and a human boy is the human factor. The 
inevitability of mortality will one day leave  

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this girl alone once again. It seems that she's 
forever destined to be a Sad Machine.

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[Song: Porter Robinson - Sad Machine (Worlds Live edit)]

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Not bound by mortality, she'll live on 
remembering the life she had with those  

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before her -- those who are now gone. Life, love, and 
companionship that's now lost. Living forever in  

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00:21:03,300 --> 00:21:08,800
her loneliness, and never truly knowing who 
or what may lie ahead.

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Worlds' entire track list is filled with songs 
that channel our nostalgia and our seeking for  

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escapism through fictional characters, memories of 
childhood, video games, and Imagination. Years of War  

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is about imaginary conflict and playing pretend 
as a kid. Fresh Static Snow is about the idea that  

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out of the billions of people in the world there 
necessarily must exist some sort of best possible  

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and most compatible partner that you will likely, 
tragically, never know. [Porter]: There are billions of people  

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out there and you you'll meet only a fraction 
of them and the likelihood that your best - 

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that you'll ever meet the person who would make 
you the happiest is just infinitesimal.  

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[Song: Porter Robinson - Fresh Static Snow]

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Natural Light is a brief instrumental interlude 
that paints a more dark and melancholy tone.

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[Song: Porter Robinson - Natural Light]

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Lionhearted was literally written about the video 
game Space Invaders. [Porter]: This is like an album that  

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I felt was trying to express the beauty 
I found in exploring fictional universes and  

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how meaningful like books and movies 
and fiction can be, and it was all through  

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this sort of indie pop lens. [Narrator]: Every ounce of 
Worlds takes you out of reality and into  

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somewhere else whether it be memories of the 
past or in another world altogether. That said  

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Fellow Feeling is a track that provides a brief 
glimpse into reality. Porter's reality.

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[Song: Porter Robinson - Fellow Feeling (Chet Porter Remix)]

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[Porter]: At the time I was very much like f*** EDM, 
and like you know like I just want to be known for this other thing. 

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To me, what Fellow Feeling stands for... I wanted people to kind of feel what I felt. [Hear What I Hear]

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[Song: Porter Robinson - Fellow Feeling]

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when it came to like aggressive electronic beats and,
you know, where my head was at at that time.

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How that music was making me feel. I was really frustrated.

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In other words, Fellow Feeling is Porter lashing out. The messy off-metre bass hits contrasted with the beautiful and Lush

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strings creates an interesting musical dichotomy 
that represents the internal negative feelings  

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Porter had about electronic music at the time. 
It provided the opportunity for Porter to take  

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out all of these negative feelings about his 
environment and channel them straight into his  

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music, showcasing a full display of raw emotion. 
[Porter]: To me, the second half of the song is more of a  

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reference to like language and easy earlier songs 
of mine and I wanted to show that I could write  

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this like big loud melodic music at 128 BPM that 
that was still who I was. That fit  

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with my new vision. But this idea of just writing 
heavy aggressive beats for the sake of it was  

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you know I feel like I was just expressing 
some like violence towards that idea.  

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[Song: Porter Robinson - Fellow Feeling]

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Worlds closes out with an emotional and 
bittersweet fan favorite that hones in on  

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all of the motivic development that's been 
bubbling over throughout the course of the album.

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Things like fiction, nostalgia, existing in a 
world that isn't your own, escaping to a world that  

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we create within ourselves. Worlds concludes 
with Goodbye to a World. [Porter]: This notion of  

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world destruction of a world disappearing is 
is really dear to me. I've talked about it in  

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interviews before but I was very much attached 
to these online worlds and the thing about these  

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games is that when an online role-playing game 
that millions of people are connected to goes  

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away and the servers shut down, it's not like 
other games. Once those games are gone those  

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worlds that you very much immersed yourself in are 
gone. That's why I think the whole idea of   

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a beautiful apocalypse is really evocative to me. 
This isn't a zombie death thing here. This is like, pretty, you know?

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This is a beautiful world kind of 
disappearing in a clean way.

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[Song: Porter Robinson - Goodbye to a World]

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There's something very nice to me about this 
idea of everything and closing off  

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and in a pretty way. I'm obsessed 
with this idea of like vastness 

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and there's nothing more big than 
like the end of the world.

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[Song: Porter Robinson - Goodbye to a World]

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I don't think that goodbye to a world is about 
losing everything, rather, it's about loving what  

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you had and your ability to create something new. 
It's about being thankful for the world you are  

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able to live in. if not only for a brief moment 
in time. Fortunately for all of us, Goodbye to a  

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World wasn't the end of the world's era. In 2015,
Porter released a remix of Nero's 'The Thrill' that  

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scratched all of the same itches that Worlds did. 
And a year later in August 2016, in collaboration  

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with madeon, we were graced with Shelter. However 
a perhaps lesser-known inclusion in the Worlds-era  

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discography is Shepherdess -- a B-side on the 
Lionhearted 7-inch vinyl record, exclusively  

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distributed through the quickly-sold-out, and 
now-hard-to-find, limited edition Worlds box set.

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[Song: Porter Robinson - Shepherdess]

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Written in 2012, it was allegedly intended 
to be included in Worlds, but was  

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axed last minute for one reason or another. 
Probably because of the dance-driven beat  

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and hard-hitting drop in the second half 
that didn't quite fit the tone of Worlds.

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[Song: Porter Robinson - Shepherdess]

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The song didn't really get that much attention. 
But in 2016, it began appearing in Porter's live sets...

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This time with a variation in production 
and a new name: [She Heals Everything]

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[Song: Porter Robinson - She Heals Everything]

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I personally believe that She Heals Everything 
epitomizes why Porter Robinson is such an  

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incredible songwriter. The honesty and 
vulnerability in the title, paired with  

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the emotional melody and synths and strings --
it all comes together to awaken this innate  

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instinct to find connection and companionship 
in someone. To love and to be loved.

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[Song: Porter Robinson - She Heals Everything]

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[Porter]: I had chased after a musical identity that I was 
proud of for so long and I knew when I heard this  

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that this was going to be a signature that I 
was going to embrace and actively lean into...  

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...and that was a very good feeling.

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[Interviewer]: So with your musical journey, do you see Worlds as a finished concept that's done and now we try and  

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do something else or is it a step on the journey 
and the next thing is going to take those ideas further?  

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[Porter]: Well, I I just spent two months on tour 
in the US and I came home, I had three weeks off  

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I wrote... I wrote music for six hours every day 
for three weeks and I have kept none of it.

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After that, this is where... this is how we get to nurture.

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[Song: Pentagon - Heal]

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Gone are the days of simulated worlds, 
fictitious characters, imagination, and living

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in your nostalgia. Nurture is about life. 
 Nature.

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[Porter]: I think nature, for me, is this stand-in for basically health.
 This idea of things being as they should be. Like things being at this  

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stasis point where everything's balanced.
 I wanted the album to feel up close and I wanted it to  

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feel intimate like I knew that like nature was a 
good representation of that because like nature  

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is real and it's everyday and it  
it feels like you can touch it.   

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00:31:15,461 --> 00:31:21,211
[Narrator]: Nurture is all about self-improvement and 
overcoming personal and mental difficulties. 

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[Porter]: Like, your nature is something that you can't change 
and your nurture is a combination of the experiences that you  

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have and the way that you're treated growing up but also 
the things that you do for yourself. It's the self-nurturing thing.

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[Narrator]: It's incredibly personal the Porter's unique 
experiences as a musician 

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but really more so as a human. [Porter]: I got 
connected to the idea of nurture because it not  

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only evokes the idea of nature inherently, it 
also is about the things that you can control  

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and the things that you can change and the 
stuff you can do for yourself to, like, leave yourself

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 and the world in a better place. [Narrator]: Porter 
shares his experience in fighting his personal  

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battles through a lens that the listener can 
easily grasp and relate to. Through Porter's  

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00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:10,140
journey of mental struggle and overcoming 
his inner voice, so too are we able to do so.  

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00:32:11,220 --> 00:32:16,200
Sonically we are presented with a whole 
new soundscape and style with an array  

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00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:21,480
of natural and organic textures. This becomes 
abundantly clear in just the first few seconds  

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00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:27,120
of the album as the first song, Lifelike, 
begins with a light gentle pulsating synth.

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00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:42,420
Gentle piano and strings welcome us to this new 
world. The real world. Furthermore, consider the  

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title, "Lifelike". This is what life sounds like. You 
can hear faint birdsong with the accompaniment of  

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00:32:49,260 --> 00:32:56,099
real life instruments and Porter's faint but real 
and untampered voice joining in the background very briefly.  

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00:32:56,099 --> 00:33:02,700
[Porter]: I tried to use more physical sounding 
instruments like more real pianos and some more  

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00:33:02,700 --> 00:33:09,120
samples and less synths, for sure. It felt more 
in that world, it felt less dreamlike and more up  

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00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:16,680
close and intimate. [Narrator]: The song is only a mere 1:34 
but this natural, organic, and real-life motif is  

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00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:22,060
picked up and carried straight into the following 
song, aptly titled, Look at the Sky.  

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00:33:24,060 --> 00:33:32,134
Look at the Sky introduces the main antagonist 
of the nurture album narrative: Porter's inner voice. 

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00:33:32,134 --> 00:33:39,104
Immediately with the first line: [Is it fate?] 
We can hear the seeds of doubt being sown into his mind.

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00:33:39,104 --> 00:33:44,640
Is it fate for him to buckle under the pressure of 
his own doubts and fail as a musician, despite the

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00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:49,714
magnificent highs he felt coming off the 
heels of Worlds just a few years prior? 

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00:33:49,714 --> 00:33:55,740
It is relatively well documented through interviews 
and a lack of musical output post-Worlds that  

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00:33:55,740 --> 00:34:01,500
Porter suffered from incredibly frustrating and 
persistent writer's block that had a heavy toll  

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00:34:01,500 --> 00:34:06,540
on his mental health. [Porter]: On much of the album I'm 
singing through this effect that pitches my voice  

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00:34:06,540 --> 00:34:11,640
up like an octave and it makes it sound very like 
feminine or childlike. Like, I'm almost doing these  

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00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:16,500
duets with myself where I'll sing with my natural 
chest voice and the call and response will be this  

305
00:34:16,500 --> 00:34:21,540
little childlike voice or this, like, feminine voice. 
It's like this duet, and you know when you get into  

306
00:34:21,540 --> 00:34:26,400
the lyrics you kind of quickly realize that it 
feels like this duet between my head and my  

307
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:31,740
heart or like yeah like between like what I want 
to say and what my inner voice is kind of telling  

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00:34:31,740 --> 00:34:37,680
me. You know, what that represents for me is these 
alternating voices that I feel. One of which is  

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00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:44,100
like my anxieties and then the other part of it is 
my values. It's like there's this clash between  

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00:34:44,100 --> 00:34:49,620
these anxieties and these values and 
I sort of take that dialogue and I'm trying  

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00:34:49,620 --> 00:34:56,361
to decorate it and all of this beauty. But I think there's a 
little bit of - I try to inject a little bit of pain into the lyrics too.

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00:34:56,361 --> 00:35:00,720
[Narrator]: Immediately, we are made aware that 
just as any human is at  

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00:35:00,720 --> 00:35:07,440
one point or another, Porter is struggling. He's 
trying though. If you look at how the first and  

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00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:12,300
second verse contrast each other, specifically the 
lines: "But then something must have changed in me"  

315
00:35:12,300 --> 00:35:18,540
visible progress is beginning to be foreshadowed. 
Where in the first verse, Porter is referring to  

316
00:35:18,540 --> 00:35:23,400
how something changed in him which led to his 
eventual despair, the second verse tells us how  

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00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:31,540
something different changed in him. What changed in him this 
time was his doubts. Whatever he feared, he didn't fear it anymore.  

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00:35:31,540 --> 00:35:38,700
Following Look at the Sky is Get Your Wish. 
This was the lead single  

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00:35:38,700 --> 00:35:44,583
for nurture when Porter announced the album back 
in January of 2020. With it, Porter posted this.  

320
00:35:44,583 --> 00:35:50,340
A brief summary of what get your wish is about 
and an explanation for his prolonged Hiatus  

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00:35:50,340 --> 00:35:55,680
[Porter]: You know, around 2015, 2016, Worlds had come out... 
I remember feeling like I was going to get back  

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00:35:55,680 --> 00:36:02,460
into the studio and I felt like I knew, like 
"Okay, I did worlds. It's well received.. 

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00:36:02,460 --> 00:36:07,260
..like I know how to do this now." 
 I think there's a natural kind of ebb and flow that comes with   

324
00:36:07,260 --> 00:36:13,320
creativity and inspiration things like that and 
I happened to hit one of the valleys, and I just  

325
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:18,660
completely overreacted to it. "Oh my God, what if I 
can never make music again" and once that thought  

326
00:36:18,660 --> 00:36:24,382
occurred to me it was like I was going into the 
studio every day with the intention to disprove that idea. 

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00:36:24,382 --> 00:36:29,034
That is incredibly infertile grounds 
for breeding creativity.

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00:36:29,034 --> 00:36:36,000
[Narrator]: I think at a point in everyone's lives, we get so caught up in what we're doing and who we're trying to be that we forget  

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00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:39,649
to consider why we even bother. 
Who is it all for?

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00:36:39,649 --> 00:36:46,236
[Porter]: Like, damn. What is the point of all of this? 

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00:36:46,236 --> 00:36:52,367
What is it that I actually want 
and what is it that I am actually trying to do here?

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00:36:52,367 --> 00:36:58,260
[Narrator]: Many people live their lives yearning for 
success, money, recognition, or fame. It seems that  

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00:36:58,260 --> 00:37:03,300
Porter took into consideration his own motives, 
reflecting on his past success and questioning  

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00:37:03,300 --> 00:37:06,253
why it isn't as fulfilling as he imagined it to be.

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00:37:06,253 --> 00:37:08,692
[Interviewer]: You were being productive you were releasing great music

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00:37:08,692 --> 00:37:14,644
but the struggle for you to make nurture was 
very real I mean take us through that a little bit.

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00:37:14,644 --> 00:37:19,860
[Porter]: Right. I started coming into the 
studio every day with this desire to prove

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00:37:19,860 --> 00:37:24,771
 I could still do it. I was just like, it was just like this 
white knuckle on the mouse like just being like 

339
00:37:24,771 --> 00:37:28,334
oh my God if I don't make something today, 
like I'm truly screwed. That was how I felt. 

340
00:37:28,334 --> 00:37:35,400
I was really stuck, I was really uninspired, and then the 
second major mistake that I made was that I...

341
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:39,647
...I thought I need to put more pressure on 
myself. I thought that I wasn't working hard enough. 

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00:37:39,647 --> 00:37:47,641
That's what much of especially late 2015, 2016, 
early 2017 was a lot of 

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00:37:47,641 --> 00:37:50,936
being scared I wasn't going to be able to do 
music anymore. 

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00:37:50,936 --> 00:37:55,934
This constant mental battle is the main 
overarching narrative of Nurture.

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00:37:55,934 --> 00:38:00,660
 Even so, themes of love, gratitude, optimism, and acceptance  

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00:38:00,660 --> 00:38:06,467
still trickle through the incredibly dense clouds 
of despair shown through much of the album.   

347
00:38:06,467 --> 00:38:14,258
Wind Tempos, for example, is a more experimental, ambient 
piece that spans over six minutes of run time.   

348
00:38:14,258 --> 00:38:21,420
At the latter end of the song is this repeated saying. 
While it's unclear what or who this song is about  

349
00:38:21,420 --> 00:38:28,878
what matters is the emotional tone that's conveyed. 
It doesn't sound like sadness but rather hope and love. 

350
00:38:28,878 --> 00:38:34,740
In musician and do-re-mi, he revels for 
his love and appreciation for music and the  

351
00:38:34,740 --> 00:38:41,340
opportunity he has to be a musician despite how 
discouraged he sometimes feels. In Mother, he pays  

352
00:38:41,340 --> 00:38:46,433
tribute to his mom who has been a continual and 
reliable support system throughout his life.  

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00:38:46,433 --> 00:38:54,420
Sweet Time was written about his now-fiance Rika, and in 
Porter's own words, is about being so in love with  

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00:38:54,420 --> 00:38:58,754
someone that for the first time in your life 
you're scared of dying.  

355
00:38:58,754 --> 00:39:08,520
[Porter]: You come to realize how there's no guarantee of 
the time that you'll get to spend together with  

356
00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:15,600
that person beyond the reality that we know. 
Then you know that death is coming...  

357
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:20,991
it's like, it's about being so in love that 
you become afraid to to die for the first time.  

358
00:39:20,991 --> 00:39:24,362
Blossom, which is also about Rika, picks up 
on the same themes presented in sweet time.

359
00:39:24,362 --> 00:39:31,440
This time through an intimate interaction that 
he has with her as told through the lyrics.  

360
00:39:33,563 --> 00:39:38,940
On a walk through the woods together, Porter is 
stuck preoccupied with the thought that one day  

361
00:39:38,940 --> 00:39:45,306
he's going to lose her. That one day, "we're all out 
of time". Being the voice of reason that she is,

362
00:39:45,306 --> 00:39:45,806
she tells him to stop living the time they have left 
together in his head to just laugh.

363
00:39:45,806 --> 00:39:57,240
Something that I do again and again on this album is 
I'm singing through this kind of pitch processing it's like  

364
00:39:57,240 --> 00:40:02,220
this sort of mask that I wear to get through some 
vulnerable sentiments that'd be hard to say  

365
00:40:02,220 --> 00:40:06,834
in my my own voice. But on the words "I love you" in 
this song, that effect turns off.

366
00:40:06,834 --> 00:40:10,871
[It's just that I love you] 

367
00:40:10,871 --> 00:40:17,347
I didn't want to hide behind the mask that I do 
so often, I was like, if I'm gonna say I love you 

368
00:40:17,347 --> 00:40:20,352
on one of my songs like you gotta mean that shit.

369
00:40:20,352 --> 00:40:23,353
These songs highlight the brighter side of Nurture.

370
00:40:23,353 --> 00:40:27,757
They are the Silver Lining to the Grim 
mental struggles that Porter is battling.  

371
00:40:27,757 --> 00:40:34,620
Mirror and Trying to Feel Alive are what I consider to be 
Nurture's two most important tracks to the album's  

372
00:40:34,620 --> 00:40:40,740
narrative as I believe they properly close out and 
resolve all of the struggles presented within it.

373
00:40:40,740 --> 00:40:46,965
[Song: Porter Robinson - Mirror]

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I like to think of mirror as the 
"final boss" of the album.   

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This is Porter finally confronting his inner voice, saying, 
"I know you'll say I'm a burden do your worst.  

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I know what you want from me. 
I know what you're thinking."   

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In interviews, Porter has mentioned that this 
 inner voice he holds within him

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 is at least partially derived from what others 
have actually said to him in the past.

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[Porter]: Saying to me, like, "You know you don't.. you don't have to do this."  

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Like, "It seems like trying to do music is making you 
really miserable. You don't have to do this." 

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And it was it was said from a place of love but 
it actually fucking terrified me.   

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There came a point where I would be sitting in the shower for 
like 30 minutes, not with my phone, but basically  

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engaged in an imaginary argument on Twitter with 
like somebody who was dragging me or whatever, like defending myself.

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I eventually realized like wait, this is all internal.

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Like this person who's like "dragging me" is myself 

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and the thing I'm afraid of hearing. 

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After years of doing this I was like, "Wait this is so unhelpful." 

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[Narrator]: The song is a brutal back and forth 
between Porter and his inner self 

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never seeming to reach a resolution. That is, 
until the very end. Suddenly the narrator chimes in:  

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[Sometimes the inner voice is encouraging, 
calling for you to run those final few yards.  

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You're nearly there, keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going. 

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It will all be okay in the end.]  

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And that's it.

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The inner voice doesn't have to be a vice, it doesn't 
have to harbor doubt, and it won't always do so.  

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Porter finally found this inner voice and to close 
out the album he gives us trying to feel alive. 

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It is the great conclusion to the ultimate 
struggle he's been facing.

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I also think, like, maybe trying to

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 change from like a fixed mindset to a growth 
mindset was another thing, too, where I was  

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taking all of my works in progress, everything that 
I worked on, as this evaluation of who I was.  

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 Like what I'm making says something about me 
and it's so much better if you can take your  

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own works in progress and the things that you're 
trying to do as opportunities for lessons and  

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opportunities for growth. I want people to believe 
that I fixed all my problems, you know, like I wrote  

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this album, I'm on the other side, and I'm just 
fully happy... but on the other hand I  

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kind of don't necessarily want people thinking 
that because if they're sat there thinking "I've  

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been working on recovery for six years, I'm on 
the other side, I'm still not perfect what's  

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wrong with me?" That's equally harmful. 

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I like to think of the extended intro of Trying to Feel Alive 

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as a sort of end credit sequence 
of a film where it cycles through shots of the  

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movie's protagonist in their new refined mindset 
after a long and arduous journey.

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It's a beautiful, encouraging, and emotional, but modest instrumental. 
It's thinking music. It allows you to breathe and consider 

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 everything you've listened to. 
To listen to your inner voice. 

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After a full two minutes, we get the song's brief but potent lyrical content. 
The final words we're left with on nurture:

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[Well, do you feel better now? I thought I'd run until the sky came out.]   

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Do you feel better now? You climbed a 
mountain, are you satisfied? 

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These words echo that of Get Your Wish. 
Finally achieving what you've been working toward. 

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Finally walking on water. Finally getting your wish...
 Only to look ahead and question: 

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What was this all for? and what's next?  

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However this time Porter knows. 
The mentally taxing journey he  

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faced throughout Nurture taught him what he 
needed to understand this whole time. 

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[Maybe it's a gift that I couldn't recognize.
 Maybe I don't really need to feel satisfied.]

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[Maybe it's a gift that I spent 
all this time trying to feel alive.]

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Satisfaction was never what he needed. 
Maybe continually feeling dissatisfied is a blessing. 

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Maybe his dissatisfaction is 
what drives him to continually keep trying...  

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...to be better than he was before. 
Moreover, he realizes who he does this all for.  

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It's us.
The listeners.

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Recall the statement he released 
with Get Your Wish where he wrote:  

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"You know how every once in a while when you're driving or 
something, the music you're listening to just  

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moves you in this amazing and transcendent way? 
Where you feel like the world is beautiful and  

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filled with possibility and you want to 
cherish every second you have to be alive  

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I have this experience every once in a while 
when I'm listening to my favorite artists  

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I feel overwhelmed with gratitude that they 
do what they do. I think being able to give  

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people that experience through sincere 
songwriting is what makes it worthwhile

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[And then somebody somewhere finds the 
warmth of summer in the songs you write.

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Maybe it's a gift that I didn't recognize.
Trying to feel alive.] 

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Despite the exhausting length of this video, I 
have really just barely scratched the surface  

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of what I could have or wanted to say about these 
albums. I could have gone into a tiring amount of  

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detail dissecting every song ad-nauseam. Instead, I 
chose to make this still-extremely-lengthy-video  

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because among many other reasons, I have a really 
deep personal connection with Porter Robinson  

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 I've been listening to him since his Spitfire days 
and I've loved every project he's touched since.  

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I consider worlds to be my favorite album of all 
time because of how deeply I connected with its  

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themes at the time of its release. I've seen him 
live twice; once at Worlds Live in 2014 where I  

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was actually able to meet him in person, and again 
in 2016 during his Shelter Live tour with Madeon.

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The reason I dissected the life out of 
these albums is because I feel that there  

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is a really interesting thematic dichotomy that 
exists between them. In the long seven year wait  

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for Porter's sophomore record, I really had no 
clue what he might try to attempt post-Worlds.  

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It was my biggest fear that he would just follow 
the "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" mentality and  

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attempt a "Worlds 2.0". Fortunately for all of us, 
we got Nurture. And now today we have two albums  

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that I think perfectly complement each other 
both sonically and thematically.  

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[Porter]: Something that I really needed between albums was 
like.. part of the reason I probably struggled in  

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the beginning is because I didn't feel like I 
had something new to talk about. Like I didn't  

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want to just do the same thing again and so 
when I would make these sort of Worlds-esque  

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attempts it just didn't... I didn't feel a spark 
in the same way. So like I think that was a  

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a big part of it was like I needed 
something new to actually talk about.   

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[Narrator]: Worlds illustrates the yearning to exist in a world 
other than your own. It's based in fiction it  

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represents dissatisfaction with physical reality 
and harbors the idea of seeking to create your own  

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reality. Your own world. It's about escapism, and 
finding temporary relief from the constant and  

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incessant life battles that chip away at your 
determination to keep, going by leaving it, and  

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creating something better. Worlds is about reliving 
your naïve and innocent youth where you were able  

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to be anything and anywhere you wanted to be 
through your wild and endless imagination.  

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Worlds beckons the times of logging into an MMO and 
speaking with your best friends whom you've never  

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even met in real life, creating your own unique 
avatar, and having a completely new virtual life.  

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Creating an identity for yourself that has nothing 
to do with your physical traits or limitations.

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Nurture, on the other hand, illustrates the harsh 
reality of living in *this* world. Nurture *is* reality.  

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It represents the incredibly frustrating and 
debilitating and inescapable human condition  

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that we exist in. One that we ought not seek to 
escape, but to embrace. To face head-on and to  

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find happiness in any way. It's about finding 
relief from the constant and incessant life  

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battles that chip away at our determination 
to keep going by confronting them. Nurture is  

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about living in the present and not thinking 
about the time that's left but just living and  

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laughing. Nurture is about creating your 
own true reality, your own real life self.  

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Creating an identity that has *everything* to 
do with your physical traits and limitations.  

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Worlds is synthetic. Nurture is organic. Worlds is 
Porter Robinson seeking to find his true sound.  

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Nurture is Porter Robinson's true sound 
fully realized.   

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[Porter]: Where Worlds, the previous album, was about this love of fiction and of these other places, these far away dreams... 

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Nurture became about this appreciation for the things 
that are close to us and the intimate and like..  

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the real life and the beauty and meaning 
that you can find and just like...   

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like...

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the very mundane and the everyday. 

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Nurture is the antithesis of Worlds.

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Fight or Flight.

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[Song: Porter Robinson - Unfold (Live Edit)]

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Thank you for watching. : )